As most of you may know I am a pataphysician, while few of you may understand the gravity of the position bestowed upon me by my colleagues you will no doubt be grateful of our efforts, as it is we who are the sole proprietors of the only time machine in existence. As part of my duties once every seven years I am granted 20 minutes to explore the past or the future. That’s 20 minutes eastern pataphysics time, not what you are used to.
The last time I had the chance to explore the time-line I was 26 and still very much in love with the theatre, and hate to say it but I squandered my trip to see the premier of “The Cradle Will Rock” by Marc Blitzstein, a few productions by Brecht, and the JFK assassination (it was the driver ). However, in my youthful excitement I failed to realize that your technology is only as good as the time period you’re in. You could not imagine my surprise when I found upon my arrival that the digital recorder I brought with me had reverted into a primitive box filled with copper dust and paint pigment.
When professor Jarry showed up to hand over the keys this morning my first stop was to the distant future where the Glorious Institute of Merde has gathered all of the great artists and writers. How this came about is quite interesting. In about 300 years from now a 33degree Pataphysician by the name of General Tekaro Montoya developed a true cure all for any ailment. Without getting too technical it’s basically a cross between what we call stem cells that have been engineered in a protein bath consisting of what the alchemists know to be the prima-materia. It was a few hundred years later when another Pataphysician, one of my relatives, I am quite proud to say, learned how to stop and reverse the aging process- The records indicate that for the first time in human history all violence came to a screeching halt, also as an unforeseen result so did monogamy. I’m sorry I fear I am straying from the point.
Once they had a cure for all illness and knew how to reverse aging, our order took upon itself the task of tracking down every major artist in known history. We were charged with being the attending physicians at their death. In actuality we would get their first, arrange for a fake death, then whisk them off to the future where they chose at what age they wanted to live the rest of their lives. Funny story, just about everyone is in their early twenties accept for Shakespeare and DaVinci- William is about 40, whereas Leo wont go a day younger than 47, which he claims is the magic number of existence- We have tried to tell him it’s actually 54124.62 (the atomic number of the element that was created from combining the cure for illness with the anti aging solution).
Sorry, I strayed there for a bit. Anyway. I wasted no time finding a few artists I always wanted to meet. Kandinsky, Pollock and Sartre. They were quite easy to find as it was lunch time and everyone was in the great hall. After lunch we went to the creation labs where I told them about my project and they each agreed to contribute. Jean-Paul Sartre would write the comic, Kandinsky would paint O and Pollock would Paint X- It only took them a few hours and what I they produced was an animated hologram that appeared to encompass our very reality, it’s as if I were inside the piece while it was performed around me. I could see and smell every color in existence as they danced around me. As they spoke the words echoed in a combination of male and female voices that seemed to be coming from within my own head. I wish you could have seen the final product in its full glory before I brought it back to this time period and it reverted to a digital image.
Nonetheless, I am back and I have at the least, a splinter from the tree of creation. I hope you enjoy it.